Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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