Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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