And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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