Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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