Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
