I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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