google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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