Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Floor bacon is actually really good
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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