my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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