she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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