one two three fourrrrnication!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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