were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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