It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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