would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
