That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
