i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
