Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Randomize
