I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We are all done wearing pants today
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
