sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
