Me. At least after what I've been through.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
