just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
