Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize