Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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