i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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