apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
