True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
