it hurts more in the daytime
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
