Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
