I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
