dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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