We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
