She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize