And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
