Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
