Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
