Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
