i permit you to call me
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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