was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
