i would punch a child for taco bell
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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