Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
