You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
