My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
