That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
