sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he puts the penis in happiness.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
