You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
