in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
