Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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