Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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