Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
