so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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