this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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