We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
